The Many Faces of the Feminine
“Who you talk to matters. Who you relate to matters.”
The feminine has many faces. No, I don’t mean that women are false or fake. What I am referring to in this statement isn’t masks but the differences in how she relates to different people and circumstances in her life.
She is a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, a (ex)wife, a (ex)girlfriend, a mother, a niece, a friend, a colleague, a student, an employee, an employer etc. She has many relations and relationships all through which she shows up as who she is in that exact relation. That doesn’t necessarily mean that she is pretending in any of them, it just means that she relates differently to different people, especially if she is good at relating. Fundamentally she is the same, with the same values, wants and needs, she just turns up or down the volume on the various aspects of herself under various circumstances.
Let me present you with an example.
Imagine yourself with your best friend or friends. Can you see yourself talking about sex with them? How would that go?
Now, let’s imagine you with your grandmother or aunt. Is it just as easy to talk about sex with them? Would you avoid it all together or talk about it in a different way perhaps?
Who you talk to matters. Who you relate to matters.
The masks differ from this.
The masks we wear are often constructed by the makeup we put on, not to say the botox, fillers, fake eyelashes, eyebrows and what not, which some of us might even just put on to hide who we really are underneath.
We identify with looks, age, our job, education – all the very tangible things in life. However, we all know we are way more than that and we want, more than anything, to be seen and experienced for all of which we are on the inside, and yet we hold so much fear of showing it to the world. And it seems, the more the person or situation matters, the more fear we hold towards showing our inside, and thus, the more we hide.
The biggest and heaviest mask is that we have hidden ourselves behind an impersonation of the masculine energy, and a very poor one. But we also do that for a reason. We hide behind the energy of the masculine out of fear. The masculine energy in a female is a defense mechanism. Very early on we were taught to be independent, self-sufficient, and most important of all, not to be dependent on a man. Have our own money in our own bank account and all that good stuff. All that created was a fear of trusting anyone, and for women, maybe particularly men. What we need to learn is not to not depend on a man but which men we can depend on.
We have been taught that we can do the exact same things as a man can do and be exactly what a man can be. Maybe we can, but my questions are: Do we really want to? Is that what our heart and soul crave for? Is that really coded in the feminine instincts?
From all the work I have done on myself and helped other women with in their own lives, this isn’t the reality of who we are as females. In fact, so many of us suffer from feeling that we always come up short, never do or are enough. This, eventually, leads to stress, and if overheard, depression as well.
Now is the time for women to stand up for themselves and demand something from themselves instead of waiting for politicians or society to tell them what they are allowed or not allowed to do or be. We are the ones who have the ability to demand change.
Do we really want equality or is what we truly want equal value based on the energy we bring?
Equal value as in to experience that being a mother is, if not the most important occupation in the world, then at least one of them. Or being a wife, supporting her man, loving on him, nurturing him, and receiving him fully is equally important to him working to provide for her and their family.
There is nothing we as women can’t do but that doesn’t mean we should do it all. It means that we have a huge responsibility when it comes to knowing ourselves in depth and what our soul’s DNA is determined to do and express; our values, our worth, our heart, our faces, and if we ever use masks, to be aware of why we put them on so we stop doing it out of fear of not being good enough, but instead as a way to express ourselves and our creativity and passion.
If you would like to work with me or connect with me, you can do so either through booking sessions with me or join our group on Facebook.
By Elizabeth Lund
